Growing Up

Seems like we have been here in Logan forever. When I think about life before we moved here it seems like years and years ago. I think I am really starting to find my place here.

Since moving so much has changed. So much more then just our address and the people we knew before.

I feel like I have grown up in a lot of ways. And maybe its just that I am finally in a place where I can look at myself and say... "Gosh why do I do that? I think I should change that a little so I can be happier!"

Or something kinda like that anyway!

My babies are bigger and bigger every day! They are starting to understand things and think for themselves! It means that I need to understand each of them, their needs their personalities and how they feel loved and important!

My relationship with them needs to grow and evolve! Its kind of tricky but I WANT to be the kind of mom that KNOWS her child. Not just barks orders and expects obedience and compliance!

I feel like Heavenly Father KNOWS me and I want to KNOW and understand Spencer, Cooper and Grahamy individually!

I am a wife to a wonderful man! But for a long time now I dont think I really understood what being a wife really meant.

I am learning to be a helpmate to my sweet man! To give more then I expect back! To be grateful to be on this journey with him. I am learning its not just about what he does for me that makes me happy but what we are for each other that make Both of us feel fulfilled and in love!

He has needed me this last year. Needed me to be strong and supportive while he pushes through this intense grad program! And it feels SO good to be strong and take care of lots of things on my own. It feels good to rely on myself and show myself I CAN do so many things!

And it feels amazing to have my hottie hubby come home and love and cuddle me.

I have had some dissapointments in the last year. I have felt so sad and low. I have felt betrayed and unimportant. But from that place I have grown and thrived! I am so proud of myself for not falling apart under pressure. I am grateful that I can look back and know that I was true to who I want to be.

I know that my Savior helped me through that time, I know He is happy with the efforts I make each day and that He will help me along my path!

Earlier today BJ was teasing me and in jest asked me what my Bliss was? I laughed back and said a constant vacation in Hawaii where all we had to do was play and play.

Well I've been thinking and MY TRUE BLISS looks a lot like this....