The past few weeks have been rough on me! I have just felt a little down and out, and I dont know why!!? I have been so grumpy and edgy! I feel myself go from 1 to angry over small things and I wonder why? I have been feeling constantly overwhelmed and upset and it makes me sad!
I snap at the boys and scare myself! I can see how I react in their faces and then I just want to be different! I know I DONT want the be that kind of Mom! I want to respond quietly and sweetly I want to brush of the everyday messes and just be able to relax and play with them... but for some reason lately I cant!!! And my heart slows down and I just ache because I DONT WANT TO BE THIS GIRL!
Today was another bad day, the kids made too many messes and fought too much and at nap time they just screamed and beat on each other! The first time I went in I threatened them with no more juice and raised my voice!
As I sat down I remembered a blog Amber recommended I read for a little pick me up and this sweet girl I dont even know softened my heart and helped me hear what the spirit was trying to tell me!
At that moment the boys started crying and I could tell someone hurt someone else! I went in softly and asked Spencer to come sit next to me and Cooper (who was the victim THIS time) I told him I wanted to be a better mommy and told him I needed Heavenly Fathers help! So we said a prayer together!
Cooper wiggled and I cried and asked Heavenly Father to help me answer with tenderness instead of harshness to laugh and play instead of correct and scold! I asked for extra strength to think before I respond so we could be a happier family!
When I closed the prayer and opened my wet eyes I saw my two beautiful boys and felt such clarity and peace! I knew that if I just took some time to ask for the extra help I needed I COULD be more of the kind of MOM I want to be and my BEAUTIFUL boys DESERVE! I dont have to wonder how, I KNOW that I can get all the extra strength I need if I only turn to my Brother and ASK!
So in the moments of frustration that are SURE to come (before I even finish this post, I'm sure!!) I am going to try and just ask for help as I approach a intense situation! And hopefully my kinder attitude will rub off on them!! AND if not well I'll know where to turn....
So thank you to Amber and this sweet girl who opened her heart and testimony; you were the instruments in His hands to show me that He knows me and is ready to help me!!
4 comments:
O cam you brought a tear to my eye! I think you are a wonderful mom and no matter how hard we try there will always be rough patches. Its always good to pray and of course remember that these times will pass! I LOVE YOU and I think YOU ARE AWESOME!!! thank you for sharing your feelings it always helps us other moms who go through these same hard times to know that we aren't alone in this!
Thank you for sharing that. I've been in that position so many times and know exactly how you feel. Parenting is hard work, and I always feel like I can do better and be kinder and more gentle. Something I think that all mom's are constantly working on. (((hugs)))
Cameo, I am so proud of you. You are a wonderful and tender mother, and your boys are lucky to have you.
You did the right thing!
Love you,
dad
Thank you for sharing this. I have really struggled with this lately, and after conference yesterday felt that I have got to figure things out so my kids can have MY best. You really showed how to make that happen...and I thank you!
p.s. I hope I have not offended you. I haven't heard from you forever and I miss that!!
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